the 5 absolute best things of the past twenty years, period.
| written by dave on 07/31/07 | leave a comment |
a lot of amazing things have happened in the past twenty years. here are the top 5:
5. sega’s 32x.
although nary a good thing could be said about the x’s numbered 1 through 31, the 32x was perhaps the single greatest gaming console ever to be invented. imagine it: for the same cost of a new system, you could have an attachment for your old, crusty system! attachments revolutionized the vacuum cleaner, so why not video gaming? and with the 32x’s wealth of excellent games (there might be one or two more than the three shown in that ad), your gaming fun could only come to an end once your dying genesis finally gave up under the crushing weight of the awesome, almost alien-level advanced technology that was sitting on top of it.
4. star wars: the phantom menace
my yearbook that year was filled with nothing but jabba the hutts, boba fetts, and admiral ackbars, all in anticipation of this film. and oh, the payoff for my waiting! boy, with all those epic CG vistas and transitional wipes, there was barely any room left for a movie. but what time wasn’t spent in computer-created world-building was spent with detailed, psychologically riveting character building, because everybody knows you can’t make three movies with dull, uninteresting/annoying characters! george lucas is a genius!
continue reading…
filed under movies: 80s, movies: 90's, tv kids shows: 90s, video games
deathiversary: r.i.p my he-man action figure
| written by dave on 04/05/07 | leave a comment |
every toy featured in the above ad was a major player in my childhood.
family is important. that can’t be denied. but, if you looked at the amount of time i spent with family as a child versus the amount of time i spent with my toys, my toys and i have a bond that goes deeper than mere genetics. sure, my family provided the toys, just as a cow provides its meat. so these toys were not like family to me…
they were like toys to me.
filed under toys, tv kids shows: 80's
tmnt: more than meets the eye?
| written by dave on 03/19/07 | leave a comment |
q: what could possibly be better than an action figure?
a: Nothing. Except an action figure that’s actually two freakin’ action figures!
filed under commercials, toys, tv kids shows: 90s
trix replaced the bright abstract of childhood with harsh, unappealing reality
| written by dave on 02/23/07 | 2 comments |
i was always a lucky charms kid. you can’t appreciate the marshmallows in life without a handful of bland oats. it’s the same reason i liked going to church on christmas eve.
filed under commercials, food
prison as a metaphor for the sufferings of mankind: metallica vs. megadeth
| written by dave on 02/21/07 | leave a comment |
metallica examines the prison of the ostracized with “the unforgiven.”
megadeth, in their typical quest for one-upsmanship, studies the dark and tragic world of the prison of psychosis with the scholarly “sweating bullets.”
where fools may turn to literature for a detailed emotional study of humanity’s grand tragedy, i turn first to early ’90s metal music videos. but whose profound and illuminative voice should i gain my personal insights from? the phd dissertation-level genius of metallica’s james hetfield or the subtle, almost eastern philosophies of megadeth’s dave mustaine?
in the years of 1991 and 1992, these two mental giants took the human psyche head on with a powerful one-two punch of “the unforgiven” and “sweating bullets,” and finally, the people of america realized that, while they *thought* they had been building a life, they had really spent their lives building prisons. you may now ponder the depth of the mind-chasm that lays before you.
the nobel peace prizes may still be pending, but metallica and megadeth have forced us all to consider whether we, ourselves, are “unforgiven”… or even “sweating bullets,” and for that, we owe them a great deal of gratitude and peace prizes. if my young self hadn’t seen these videos on mtv (or mental transformation vision), i never would have torn down my house (or prison, as it’s better known), brick by brick, to live under the stars.
in hindsight, “prison” had a heating system, and sheets.
such is the price of enlightenment.
filed under mtv, music: 90's
bill clinton’s been out of office for seven years, so the world blows rather than the women
| written by dave on 02/15/07 | leave a comment |
video: clinton’s last white house correspondents dinner
filed under politics








