from the ages of 7 to 10, there wasn’t a band alive that i held in greater esteem than guns ‘n’ roses. queen, metallica, van halen, motorhead, ozzy, all bowed at the throne of axl.

thanks to careful guidance from my cousin on which songs to avoid playing in front of my parents at all cost, i was able to rock out, unfettered, for years, until this goddamn video came out.

i bounded down the stairs one night as i heard the song fade out on the television. i turned the corner to see…my parents glaring through me as if i had written, directed and produced the video. they were shocked and appalled. how do i know that? because that’s what they told me.

after the total and utter gayness of the estranged (swimming with dolphins) and don’t cry (axl’s butt) videos it was really hard to defend ol’ gnr, and now their damn videos were getting me in trouble. forget this, i thought, as i unconsiously ended an era.

but i will say this to my parents. maybe the video for since i don’t have you had chicks making out for, like, three seconds, but the video for patience had chicks in their underwear for like the whole video, plus snakes. and i watched that more times than i can count.

swish.