during my freshmen year of high school i had a very clear afterschool ritual. my friend brenda and i would walk to her house, stopping at a local conveinience store to pick up mint iced-tea snapple (yeah, that don’t make it anymore…i’ll have more to say on that later) and chocolate bars of some kind on the way. we would then proceed to play dr. mario for hours on end.

there is aparantly some kind of hallucinogenic properties that are released in the human body when teenaged girls devour loads of chocolate, ingest copious amounts of mint-flavored tea, and are then bombarded with flashing images of viruses and pills. hey, i’m no scientist, i only know what i experienced. at our most intoxicated, i swear to you that i halucinated a naked man dancing outside the living room window.

perhaps this has something to do with why you can’t get mint iced-tea snapple anymore.