00:00 - wait a minute, there’s another poison video playing on the tv in the shot! this band is a gift that just keeps on giving!

00:10 - ha, the mom thinks bret michaels is a “nice boy.” too bad her daughter wants to do some very naughty things to bret.
(also, he’s not even technically listening to her phone sex. sorry chick, but he’s bret michaels; he gets it all the time.)

00:16 - yo, did you check out all those guitars?

00:19 - and there is our first high-five of the video. niiiiiice.

00:21 - triple kick!

00:31 - man, did you see c.c. deville just throw that guitar away? it’s like he doesn’t give an f.

00:32 - aw man, bobby dall is coming down a sliding board!

00:37 - whoa, who are the ladies? i’d stop singing, if i saw their legs too!

00:41 - holy… rikki rockett doesn’t even have a drum kit; he just has chicks that hold his snares. awesome.

00:45 - check out that close-up of bret. all the men want to be him, and all the ladies want to be with him!

00:50 - hey wait a minute, there’s a camera in the shot! on purpose! so does that mean this music video is about the behind-the-scenes event of a music video shoot? whoa. how brechtian.
take that lars von trier! if there’s any leftovers, you can munch on that big, hard one!

00:55 - nice catch!

01:00 - this stage is awesome. there’s all this room for the guys to strut around and jump and spin and do somersaults. and there’s lights with different colors, and a smoke machine. and giant lipstick kisses smeared all over the walls. it’s like they get sex all the time or something!

01:09 - heh, bret michaels is literally being carried away by bobby dall - and he is not happy about it! these guys are hilarious!

01:16 - yes! bret, c.c., and bobby are doing that move where they all wave their instruments back and forth, simultaneously. only bret doesn’t have an instrument - so he just waves his mic stand back and forth. but that’s okay - did you see that killer skull-and-crossbones flag hanging on it?

01:22 - yeah, bret’s sharing singing duties with his bassist. these guys get along!

01:39 - bret is really singing his hear– wait a minute, that’s c.c. holding the microphone! and now bret’s playing the guitar! you guys!

01:43 - uh oh, the music stopped. but bret and rikki still snuck into the shot to sing the title line: “talk dirty to me.” they act like its a secret or something. (gasp) they’re singing just to us!

01:49 - ooooh, so that’s what it looks like to call you on the telephone.

01:59 - now bret’s shadow-boxing the camera - totally ripped! … but isn’t the song about sex? if you’re thinking about sex, why are you also thinking about punching someone in the face?

02:10 - would you look at bret rolling around on the floor? this guy is having a good time.

02:21 - step aside gentlemen, it’s bobby dall’s turn to shine.

02:30 - oh. my. god.
did you see what bret michaels just simulated? and he got away with it - on mtv.
this. guy. rules.

02:41 - its time for c.c.’s solo, and he starts by throwing another guitar away! but then he has a third guitar already there for him. son of a bitch.

02:52 - double backwards duck walk! look out!

02:59 - this guitar solo rules. that is all.

03:03 - and there’s our second high-five! you know these guys were so pumped; young 20-something musicians getting their big break on mtv - the hippest channel in the world. and they just couldn’t contain the excitement. and the director saw them high-fiving each other and went “let’s put that in the video.”

03:07 - triple spin!

03:10 - guys, quit horsing around. you sure do have a lot fun playing music together!

03:12 - triple knee drop!

03:18 - whoa, rikki rockett just fell over! i bet he had too many beers. sweet!

03:23 - i can tell the song is wrapping up, and i’m bummed. it’s like the last week of summer vacation.

03:36 - bret and c.c. are singing into a camera… but not the camera that’s being used for the shot! wait, a minute, i think i get what they’re trying to do!

03:43 - rikki! where did you come from?! get back to your drum kit!

03:44 - thanks for the thumbs up guys. i really appreciate it.

03:46 - wha– fans and confetti? man, i wish i got be in their music video. everybody’s having a blast!

03:55 - bret, you’re putting silly string on the camera lens! but, but…

03:56 - triple jump. off the stage. in slow motion. with pyro. daaaamn.
now that’s how you cap off a music video!

…
whatever happened to these guys anyway?