i barely remember anything about “the bots master.” i can remember being obsessed with this show for six months, in 1993, because it was all about robots. beyond that, i need serious help trying to recall any other details.

you’d think “the bots master” theme song would be a good introduction to the characters. too bad its the fastest, most difficult theme song in all of cartoon history.

i gather that there are a bunch of robots with different specialties; there must be a cooking robot because one of them has spaghetti all over his head (like an asshole). and i think they have some bad guy to fight.

but why the hell are they rapping so fast?

wikipedia tells me that there are 15(!) different robots - no wonder they’re all pushing each other out of the way for screen time! there are 2 construction worker robots, 4 separate sports themed robots, 3 science robots, and 6 additional specialty robots - including a mother robot. i’m a 10 year old boy - i don’t give a shit about mom robots! do we really need a tennis robot and a hockey robot?

then to top it off, the robots’ intros are drowned out by laser effects and clanging metal. and a bunch of them have names that end in double “z” - making it *that* much harder to pronounce.

and of course, the only verse we can make out clearly, comes from the one non-robot (read: lame) cast member. thanks for nothing, ziv zulander. i thought i saw a ninja robot in there - go back to him!

sorry busta rhymes’ “gimme some more” but there is a new most difficult rap ever, and it’s called “the bots master” theme song.

I am genuinely angry about this.

…

damn it!