“lesjeux sont faits. translation: the game is up. your ass is mine.” oh man, if i’d had a principal this determined to bust me, i would have started so much shit. it’s a fine movie pleasure to watch a man so dumb, who thinks he’s so smart, get so repeatedly destroyed. best moment of rooney getting owned: jeannie bloodying up his face with a swift kick to the nose.

7) mr. lippman (welcome freshmen)

no uptight principal was more uptight than good ‘ole mr. lippman. he has the added distinction of being a notable assistant principal. during the first season when the show was still a sketch show, we got to look deep into his troubled mind and see what he really would like to say during the morning announcements. only adam sandler did those morning announcements better. the following is a fact i’ve never been able to verify: a rock band, whose very presense gets on lippman’s nerves, returns to the school as alumni, and the song they perform, i swear, has the lyrics “we go bald bashing on a saturday night.” i always thought this was a graphic song about how much they wanted to kill mr. lippman. i say, hands off, angry rock dudes; this guy’s alright.

6) mr. latimer (the principal)

he’s gonna clean up his school, even if he has to bust some heads to get it done. ’nuff said. moving on.

5) principal skinner (the simpsons)

what could i possibly say about principal skinner that hasn’t been said in eighteen years of the simpsons? moving on.

4) mr. belding (saved by the bell)

let’s forget for a minute the post saved by the bell life of actor dennis haskins. let’s put aside for now the fact that searching mr. belding on youtube returns more karaoke hits than saved by the bell hits. mr. belding represents a turning point in this list. yes, he was zach morris’ chief nemesis, and he took great pride in busting that punk’s blond ass. more importantly, though, he truly cared about every one of his students. i ask each of you to revisit the graduation episode and look at the pure pride on his face when zach receives his diploma. let’s hear it for the man who reminds us you really can’t spell principal without “pal.”

3) mr. clark (lean on me)

and speaking of a principal who really cares, i actually had the honor of meeting the real joe clark. if there were more men like joe clark out there, schools would never close. he never lets a single one of his students forget that each one of them holds the key to his or her own success. long before i met the man in person, i saw this movie about a few dozen times. i’ll say it openly; parts of this movie made me cry. joe clark reminds us that all a child needs to succeed is an adult to stand up and say “i believe in you.” sorry, no punchline, only hope.

2) mr. feeny (boy meets world)

no fictional character embodies the spirit of joe clark more than mr. feeny. every kid wants a learned professor to live next door and guide him through life’s rough spots. his pure love for his students outweighs anything in the real world. he’s not just a guide for corey, eric, topanga, and shaun, he’s a role model, a man of such goodness and giving that everyone who knows him can’t help but live up to. he tamed the wild harley kiner (despite a casting change) and mentored the venerable mr. turner. he helped corey and topanga’s marriage, shaun’s crumbling family, and every increasingly insane problem eric ever had. his presense on that show was so positive that it really didn’t matter why in the name of fuck he followed them from junior high to high school and then to college. now ask yourself, what fictional principal could possibly top the innate goodness of mr. feeny.

1) professor xavier (x-men)

he reads minds, controls people’s thoughts, and trains his students to be world saving super heroes. most principals would insist on new gym equipment or a football field, professor xavier insisted on a jet and an underground complex to fight the forces of evil. who would win in a fight, xavier, or everyone else on this list combined? no contest. more than anything, i want xavier as my principal because that would mean i have super powers. he doesn’t teach just anyone. he can’t be bothered with the common, not super, scum these other principals have to deal with. believe you me, professor xavier would make sure you get to class. just you try playing hookie when the principal has cerebro to track your ass down. and if you get out of line, he can call assistant principal cyclops to blast your face. and xavier does it without a strand of hair.

2 comments

filed under movies: 80s, movies: 90's, tv comedy: 90s, tv dramas: 90's, tv kids shows: 90s

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2 comments

1. hollioe Aug 28

   what year of degrassi is that cuz i think u guys ave a different intro in the states its filmed in canada n 1 of my friends sisters went 2 school with some of those kids i think

2. daroff Aug 28

   according to the clip’s description on youtube, it’s actually not the credits from the show. he took clips from season 5 and set it to the music from the nbc series boomtown.

   if you’re a big degrassi fan, you should check out jenni’s post about the degrassi junior high to high school transition.

   thanks for stopping by. hope we brightened your day.

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