the 5 absolute best things of the past twenty years, period.

the 5 absolute best things of the past twenty years, period.
written by dave on 07/31/07

a lot of amazing things have happened in the past twenty years. here are the top 5:

5. sega’s 32x.

although nary a good thing could be said about the x’s numbered 1 through 31, the 32x was perhaps the single greatest gaming console ever to be invented. imagine it: for the same cost of a new system, you could have an attachment for your old, crusty system! attachments revolutionized the vacuum cleaner, so why not video gaming? and with the 32x’s wealth of excellent games (there might be one or two more than the three shown in that ad), your gaming fun could only come to an end once your dying genesis finally gave up under the crushing weight of the awesome, almost alien-level advanced technology that was sitting on top of it.

4. star wars: the phantom menace

my yearbook that year was filled with nothing but jabba the hutts, boba fetts, and admiral ackbars, all in anticipation of this film. and oh, the payoff for my waiting! boy, with all those epic CG vistas and transitional wipes, there was barely any room left for a movie. but what time wasn’t spent in computer-created world-building was spent with detailed, psychologically riveting character building, because everybody knows you can’t make three movies with dull, uninteresting/annoying characters! george lucas is a genius!

3. scrappy-dappy-dooooooooo!

sweet laughter-on-the-cob, what a character! just when us “scooby divers,” as the fans were known, were growing tired of comical antics, the “dooby-doo brothers,” as the fans call the show’s creators, came up with the perfect twist: what if we had a dog that wasn’t a coward? and he’s small! talk about refreshing! it was a breath of life, just like when robert patrick revived the x-files. scrappy-doo had the “puppy power” to reanimate a dead mystery/comedy show in support of cowardice, and turn it into an energizing program which gaves us kids the will to succeed in this spooky world! which is exactly why our generation rules the roost.

2. ishtar? more like fabulishtar!

i know, i know — i’m beating a dead horse here. but ishtar is a hollywood gold standard for quality filmmaking. let’s say, for example, your girlfriend wants to see a movie about two struggling songwriters trying to make it in the big city, but you want to watch a political thriller about two guys lost in north african deserts and north african intrigue. well, just watch ishtar, and you’ll both be satisfied! if there were any more distinct genres shoved into this movie, you’d never have to watch another movie in your life. and that would be just peachy!

DRUMROLL!

1. new kids on the block: the cartoon!

ohmygod—-ohmygod—- lemme catch my breath. for all of us kids sick to death of cartoons based on our favorite video games, or cartoons that had dinosaurs and lasers, there was the brilliant combination of fleeting-fame boy bands and cheap animation: the new kids on the block were the new kids on saturday morning’s block and they blocked saturday morning’s other kids for easily several episodes of fun and great music! in this particular episode, the dashing and super-dreamy jordan falls for an arab girl. could this save our country and quite possibly the world? yes, and i’d like to see your little ghostbusters cartoons do that!

i can’t believe i’m out of numbers… is it too early to talk about how great dan brown’s da vinci code is?!

*********dave bolts upright, sweat dripping down his face*********

lordhavemercyonusall… that was by far the most categorically terrible dream i’ve ever had and subsequently written down in a blog…

the number one best thing of all time, regardless of decade, is the cop-out dream sequence ending.

what's overtime?

search

subscribe

most popular

this week's winner is hexendarkside!

editor's pick

recent comments

writers

contact us