he said: if i haven’t made this abundantly clear, silverchair is by far and away, the worst band ever in the history of the world. take whatever band you hate and multiply it by a million-gazillion times, and that is how much i hate this band. it’s not just that they’re bad, it’s that every one of their songs has potential and it never goes anywhere. they always throw in some lame, frilly guitar riff or some lyric that sounds like it was written by a sixteen-year-old. oh wait, it was. and now it’s like ten years later, and he still writes like he’s sixteen. why won’t this band just die?!

she said: i had a crush on daniel johns from silverchair when i was sixteen, and i would still kiss his face.

jenni logged on at 7:14pm
daroff logged on at 7:14pm
daroff: are you fucking kidding me? you are actually going to sit there and tell me you like the band silverchair.
jenni: yup
daroff: what exactly is there to like? the shitty lyrics or the pussy guitar riffs?
jenni: daniel johns
daroff: you mean daniel bland-as-hell
daroff: he’s like kurt cobain’s turd

jenni: my love for silverchair has stayed at the level of a sweet, sweet schoolgirl crush, and I’m fine with that
jenni: can you not see how a sixteen year-old girl would eat this shit up?
jenni: silverchair was the first concert i ever went to
daroff: to me, a silverchair song is like getting brought to a candy store, but when you get inside, there’s just garbage strewn everywhere. smelly smelly garbage
jenni: exactly the type of guy i loved when i was 16. good looking on the outside, but a bushel of issues on the inside.
daroff: yeah, because HE WAS SIXTEEN
daroff: and he wrote songs like a whiny sixteen year old
daroff: sixteen-year-old girls also like nsync, brittney spears, backstreet boys, and the pussycat dolls, are you going to tell me they’re good too?
jenni: but you sing silverchair songs, you have six of them in your itunes, and you can play several of their songs on guitar, i’ve seen you.
daroff: but you’re an idiot for liking them, it’s an insult to your obvious intelligence and taste
jenni: thank you?
daroff: i’m saving you from yourself
jenni: oh thank god
daroff: AAAAAGGGGHHH
jenni: thank you almighty daroff, for saving my soul
jenni: come on, having a crush on daniel johns is not sending me to hell
daroff: why am i the only person who sees the danger of these people
daroff: there are better people to crush on, people who don’t suck
jenni: well, that’s why i’m dating a wonderful man. my crushes don’t change that fact
daroff: your crushes are retarded, and so are you!
jenni: you have to admit the pig man bathing in money in the video is comedy gold
daroff: but he wasn’t trying to be funny. these videos were totally serious.
jenni: silverchair reminds me of my young love and how i have grown and matured since then and i think that’s okay
daroff: that’s how they get you
jenni: if calling me names will make you feel better, go ahead
daroff: they suck you in with the pretty, then suddenly you like a shitty band
jenni: get it out daroff…let it out
daroff: daniel johns needs to go back to australia and work at a boomerang factory where he belongs
jenni: was that racist?
jenni: I’m not sure…
daroff: would you feel better if i just made fun of him for being anorexic?
jenni: yes
daroff: but “ana wrecks his life, like an anorexia life”
daroff: WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN!?!?!
jenni: he’s calling out for help!
daroff: by writing a shitty song?
jenni: HE WANTS ME TO HOLD HIM!
jenni: like I will hold you
jenni: once you let the anger go
daroff: get your shitty-taste-in-music hands off me
jenni: wait a second, you just quoted a silverchair song, just like that. i can’t even do that.
daroff: go fuck yourself
jenni: this is a side of daroff i do not like. i’m sorry i brought you to this dark place
daroff: this coming from someone who likes silverchair
daroff: your opinions bounce right off me.
jenni: and stick back on me?
daroff: that’s right, i’m rubber
daroff: and you’re a stupid bitch
jenni: since i don’t have a problem with my opinions, i really don’t see how that’s a bad thing
daroff: i will stop this band, and you can’t stop me!
daroff: HE HAS SPOKEN!
jenni: can i make out with him before you kill him?
daroff: yes
daroff logged off at 7:19
jenni logged off at 7:19

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