sure, it might have looked like puffy sleeves and aqua net hairspray were perfectly safe, but we all know the truth. the 80s were a dark and periless time in the history of music videos. and i’m here to show you just a few of the reasons why. you might want to make sure there aren’t any impressionable young children in the room before you read further…for the sake of us all.

5) rick astley - never gonna give you up

it seems the concept of this video was the following: when rick astley is singing near you, you WILL start doing gymnastics. This seems very dangerous to me considering the number of unqualified persons who may be standing near rick astley at any given time.

4) madonna - open your heart

true story: practicing the dance moves to this video got me grounded as a kid when my mom came in the room to put my laundry away and saw what I was doing. let it be a lesson to us all.

3) safety dance - men without hats

can you sue a music video for misrepresentation? because I don’t think there is anything “safe” about a dance that results in you being in a fucked up version of medieval times.

2) a-ha - take on me

come now, what message are we sending here? “if you get sucked into a comic book world where dudes start chasing you with monkey wrenches, just bash yourself against the walls as hard as you can”? I’m surprised worried parents haven’t adopted this video as the advertisement to get comic books banned forever.

1) ABC - the look of love

the dangers of this video are endless: roller-skating off bridges, fighting in lederhosen, nuns, the damage of over-eating, helium-balloons carrying you away, hitler (oh wait, I think that might actually be charlie chaplin…my bad…).

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filed under music: 80s

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