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rob morrison“we’re back”: the movie that ruined dinosaurs written by morrison on 06/20/07
little kids are sold on dinosaurs from the moment they find out about them. no one knows why, but it’s a fact.not only did i have a totally boss hologram ruler that depicted a different set of dinosaurs for the metric system and the us-only system, but i was totally hooked on the land before time as a kid (i even stuck it out for the first eight sequels). as i grew up, dinosaurs grew with me. by the time i was 12, my dream was to be robert muldoon, uttering my last words, “clever girl,” before being ripped to shreds by raptors who would later get beat up by the gymnast half-daughter of jeff goldblum.
then i saw we’re back: a dinosaur’s story. and it all changed. dinosaurs could never be cool again. hopefully every reel of this disaster has been roasted or donated to homeless shelters.
footage from the we’re back snes game (!) after the jump…
filed under movies: 90's
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Mick Bynes Jun 27
I’m glad I never played that game. I wasn’t even aware of that SNES game! Pa-fucking-thetic! This game is just as bad as Captain Novolin! Now I did play that on the SNES emulator years ago, cos I always wanted to know what the play was like. Ooooh I do have diabeetis… that’s why I played. My blood sugar level is at 9835265y79832! Ok time to call Liberty Medical Supplies.
Roseanna Jul 14
Argh! Before I even got to the end of the article I was thinking about the game, not expecting you to mention it. I’ve played it. Well, not any time recently. It’s not the worst game I’ve ever played, I guess.
Nick Jul 28
The game looks like crap, but it’s for children. How mind-blowing is it supposed to be? Especially for a 90’s game. I suspect you were expecting Halo or something.
You wasted your time.
but no one’s surprised.
Nick Jul 28
Also, cool dream involving dinosaurs as a profession. I thought twelve year olds had grasped the concept that Jurassic Park and other dinosaur movies were fictional.
Apparently not everyone got the message.
Morrison Jul 29
Yeah, considering We’re Back came out in 1993, you’re totally right: I was definitely expecting Halo. No, let’s be honest, I was judging that game on nothing less than Halo 3. The fact that there was no online multiplayer feature where I could join my fellow dino fans from around the world in an explosive battle royale, with a pterodactyl-shaped headset which I could chant the word “archaeopteryx” into over and over again — this all ended up chopping off a star or two in my ultimate rating of the game.
I’m sorry you’re living under the sorely misinformed assumption that dinosaurs aren’t in existence anymore. My pal Denver was pretty shocked to here that. I guess you’ll just never have someone like him. I mean, he’s my friend and a whole lot more. I guess your impressive ability to leave comments on blog sites will have to function as both for you.