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rob morrisonthe 5 most infamous video game doctors ever written by geoffrey on 06/05/07
of course kids are gonna freak out about going to the doctor’s — all the villains in video games have apparently made their way through medical school. the following list contains some of the most sinister, twisted, and diabolical minds ever to plague the video game world (in addition to some of the most retarded).
here are the top 5 most notorious doctors in video games:
#5: dr. neo cortex (crash bandicoot series)
he’s got the evil scientist image down pat. the lab coat, the giant brain, and a name that references said brain. the only problem is that not only does he always get beaten by crash bandicoot (the wendy’s of video game heroes), but after failing to take over the world twice on his own, he now takes orders from a tiki head. *cough cough* loser. *cough cough*
#4: dr. wario (wario ware: micro megagame$)
wario, mario’s bizarro counterpart, has tried and failed to thwart the plumber and his friends, but unlike dr. cortex, wario was actually successful at something: he pirated mario’s precious puzzle game. on the game boy advance, he hijacks dr. mario… and there’s nothing mario can do about it! wuahahahahaha!
#3: dr. robotnik (sonic the hedgehog series)
it takes a real dick to enslave cuddly animals and turn them into a deadly robot army. dr. robotnik also has that awesome hovercraft, and made some pretty decent robot replicas of sonic. this doctor actually seems to have his villainous shit together, but he gets major intimidation points off for inventing a “mean bean machine.”
#2: dr. wily (mega man series)
the mega man games are hard as hell, and that’s because wily’s got the skills to pay the evil bills (the electric must be especially hard on him). not only did wily betray his former boss, dr. light, by transforming light’s robots into machines of destruction, but he got mega man’s own brother to work for him! plus he invented a snake shooting robot. need i say more?
#1: dr. schabbs (wolfenstein 3d)
this guy makes all the other villains on the list look like a pansy convention. dr. schabbs tried to create an army of nazi mutant zombies — not just a bunch of robot gerbils. he throws syringes at you, which makes my skin crawl just thinking about it, and though we don’t know for sure, i bet he had a hand in hitler’s mech-suit, too. any doctor who gives hitler a mechanical chainsaw bot to pilot deserves to have his practice taken away.
filed under video games, video games: nintendo
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