you sweat, you bruised your thumbs, you studied the guidebooks, you spent all your money calling the nintendo fucking hotline, and yet you still could not beat battletoads. yeah, welcome to the club. however, twenty years later, the tables have finally turned. now you can jump right to the end — thanks to youtube and overtime comedy! no more scooters over lava, thank god. my thoughts on the battletoads finale after the jump.

what the fuck?!? that’s it!! the queen gets away and you slowly enter the vulture mobile? bottle my charisma? hey, i’ve got a better idea, you dr. light wannabe retarded-looking bird mutant, why don’t you use all that technology to put a satisfying 8 minute ending onto this endless exercise in torture and humiliation that you call “battletoads?” you couldn’t even do us that one favor, after all the shit we went through? i swear to god, if i had somehow managed to beat this game and seen this ending, my head would have exploded from rage.

fuck you, battletoads.