optimus prime fucking dies 10 minutes into the transformers movie. whoops, spoiler alert! like anyone reading this site doesn’t have an illuminated script of the transformers movie tattooed all over their body like the dude in memento….or maybe that’s just me.
so, there you are, a naïve 10-year-old who knows two things: candy is fucking delicious and optimus prime will always have your back, no matter what, because he is the robotic embodiment of justice. look how he rolls out with such panache. you’ve got the touch, indeed, optimus. oh, look, there’s megatron. looks like you’re going to need to run whoopass.exe!

anyway, hot rod tries to be a big hero and optimus bites it. big time. and it’s really sad and heartbreaking and completely unexpected. but there really is no cartoon character that dies in a more christlike way (someone who has actually seen veggie tales might be able to correct me on that). we know he’s a jew from that episode of family guy and megatron totally spears him in the side…ok, so he’s not exactly crucified, per se, but just like jesus, he does pass his teachings to his disciples via a glowing mechanical device ripped from his chest. and thus robochristianity was born.