q: what could possibly be better than an action figure?

a: Nothing. Except an action figure that’s actually two freakin’ action figures!

so you come up to my young self and you’re all like, “hey, dude, i’ve got an action figure.” and i would reply, “yeah, that’s okay.” and you’d say, “it’s actually two action figures, man.” and i would retort, “yeah, i’ve got transformers too.”

but then you tell me, “it’s a goddamn teenage mutant ninja turtle, young man. bow unto it!” and I would bow like god just snapped me in half. you mean i can reenact the goo-fueled transformations of my favorite ‘za-munching hero-pals? holy origin story sundays in my basement, batman!

these mutations brand action figures were even better than the legions of “battle damage” action figures that were strewn across my basement like so many disfigured soldiers in an unjust war. mutations figures could play multiple parts! (even i didn’t pretend the nedry figure with arms was a different character than the nedry figure without arms) and so what if tmnt was cashing in on the transformers technology? did transformers have a gnarley live action movie?

at that moment in time, no. so how could transformers compete against flesh and blood action figures that were also more than meets the eye? the long standing tmnt vs. transformers feud began then, and it culminates this year as their two new movies go head to head!

it’s true because i just made the comparison.