video: the best commercial in videogame history: final fantasy III (a.k.a. FFVI) for the SNES

cody lambert, the van dwelling backyard neighbor/cousin from ABC’s step by step, and i now share a common fate: unemployment. however, unlike cody, who likely spent his rocking out to royalty free guitar music and looking at old posters of hot babes, i spend my days playing video games.

specifically, final fantasy VI advance, a game cody would have probably hated. “too many moogles, not enough guitars,” he’d intone, and he’d be right to do so: there are very few guitars in this game.

let me paint you a picture: for the past three days i’ve woken up at 2, made a hungry man dinner, turned on CSPAN 1 (CSPAN 2 is for assholes) and played final fantasy VI advance for 11 straight hours. and let me tell you: it’s a lot more stressful than it sounds.

alllow me to tell you why beating this game is of paramount importance: i never beat it when i was a kid. my little brothers costa & joey beat it while i was off playing soccer, like an idiot.

“but asterios - couldn’t you have still beaten it?”, you ask, like an idiot? well yeah, but what’d be the point? that’s like sleeping with your best friend’s ex - sure you’ll do it, but it’s not like you can brag about it later. if everyone’s slept with her, what’s the point? that’s how i felt about re-beating final fantasy VI - as pointless as hooking up with katherine daniels.

that, and i wasn’t good enough back then to beat it on my own, so i got frustrated and started playing soccer. but my point remains!