video: step by step wishes you happy holidays. december 1991.

step by step’s cousin cody and i have three things in common. 1) we love vans. 2) we were both accused of sexually harassing “step by step” cast member alicia “al” lambert (photo here). and 3) we’re both unemployed.

everyone loves unemployed cody - he’s a lovable loser. i, on the other hand, am a hateable loser. whereas cody will invite you to party in his van and watch TV from his homemade satellite dish, i will invite you to stop inviting me anywhere. i, like most unemployed catholics with immigrant parents, am unable to experience any kind of joy whatsoever - it simply bounces off a thick layer of guilt stemming from the fact that i’m right now putting nothing away for the future.

and how long have i been unemployed? i shit you not - literally one hour. i just worked my last shift at my job, went straight to the supermarket and bought 7 TV dinners and two boxes of generic cereal. that’s how freaked out immigrant catholics get when they’re not working.

cody never had to go through this. this is bullshit!