just when i thought all was darkest, i came upon these promos for “home improvement”, “rosanne” and the linda lavin sitcom “room for two” (and no, i’ve never heard of it either). now, my life is complete once more.
why are promos more fun to watch than the shows themselves? i think it’s because there’s a tendency in the 90s to shill so, so hard for your television show that the effort really shows. the announcer in the above commercial talks about home improvement like it’s the defining show of our generation, for christ sakes.

i think i’ve figured out the script for every home improvement promo ever run in the 90s. A) tim says something stupid. B) jill or al corrects him. C) sexy shot of a tool time girl. D) tim crashes through a wall on a souped up riding mower.

i wouldn’t be surprised if somewhere in the ABC vaults, that exact script existed. (BTW, the disney vaults are right next to the disney vaults, where they’re keeping all those copies of 102 dalmations from us.) i think my dream job would be to write promos for 90s sitcoms, like “third rock from the sun”.

here’s a longshot: does anyone else remember the promos for the season 2 premiere of “third rock” that took the rick james song “superfreak” and changed the words to “evil dick”? (in reference to the evil version of dick solomon on planet earth). if you do, email me and i’ll send you a dollar.*

eh, i probably won’t.