i would like use this blog today to publicly acknowledge chef boyardee, and thank him. not just for his scintillating spaghetti, radical ravioli, and fun cartoon shape pasta - but for helping me overcome my drug addiction. five years ago, i was hooked on all of the drugs, including coke, heroin, and the one that’s a pill. i was pretty messed up, and i needed someone to tell me i hit bottom. chef boyardee was that person.

now i know what you are all thinking: isn’t chef boyardee dead, or in italy? or a made up corporate logo? well, all of those are true. but you see, it wasn’t boyardee in the flesh that got me into rehab - it was the realization that i had stooped so low as to eat pasta (which takes ten minutes to boil) out of a can. i saw myself not as a human but rather like an animal, or a kentuckian.

i thought i had hit bottom when i was eating cheese balls for breakfast, but i was mistaken. letting chef boyardee into my life opened my eyes. if it wasn’t for his fun-time fusilli dinner i might be dead. i owe my life to one man. thank goodness for chef boyardee.