one of my favorite aspects of branson, mo culture is the yakov smirnoff theatre. i know that sounds insane, but it’s true: the former soviet comedian has successfully owned an operated an 1,800 seat theater in branson for the past 14 years. here’s some ad copy from his website @ www.yakov.com:

There ought to be a caution sign as you enter the Yakov Smirnoff Theatre in Branson, Missouri. It should read “Warning! Hold on to your seat ‘cause this guy is about to blow you away with dynamite comedy!”

yakov - it’s your theater. if you want that sign, you can go out and make it and hang it yourself. or have your assistant make it, i don’t know - i don’t have all the answers.

still, you gotta be impressed by a guy who’s run a successful theater since 1992 doing god knows how many shows a night. here’s where it gets epic: a mural yakov painted entitled “america’s heart” stood at 9/11’s ground zero from september 11th, 2002 to november of 2003.

he paid $100,000 out of his own pocket to create and hang it. the only reason it’s not up right now? it was torn down by freak windstorms. does this make yakov smirnoff the ballsiest comedian ever? yes.

and that’s why we’re giving our 2006 “Ballsy” award to yakov smirnoff. mr. smirnoff, if you’re ever in los angeles or new york city, please contact us and one of our writers will meet you, buy you lunch at tad’s steakhouse, and hand you the trophy.

your move, smirnoff.