greetings, friends! welcome to a new gimmick. in a brand new (read: desperate) way to search for topics, the “random search time” will allow me to take a simple word or date, like the date “1980,” and randomly choose a youtube video culled from that search. is it a lame idea? yes. do i suck because of this gimmicky new tact? yes.

sooooooo, “1980“! survey says…

what better exemplifies the dawning of the 80s than a washed out old commercial for mcdonald’s featuring birdie the early bird?! well, nothing that came up in a “1980″ search, anyway.

by the time i got into mcdonald’s commercials, birdie the early bird was simply that girl that hung out with ronald. we didn’t ask questions, but it was clear that the clown had probably burgled her hams on occasion, if you get my drift. but this 1980 birdie was an entirely different bird.

note her early rising nature and her wide, coked out eyes. she was the world’s first yuppie. but as the years marched on, mcdonald’s softened her cocaine-snuffling ways, made her a little arty, and quickly sidelined her in favor of the much beloved dullard, grimace, and the antics of death-row regular, the hamburglar.

but let us never forget: birdie the early bird was always the first to get the worm.

and yes, i mean ronald’s penis.