for all of you out there desperate to see footage from twister cut together with hilary duff’s “coming clean,” this is your lucky freakin’ day. oh, wait — there’s only one hand raised, way back in the back of the room — oh yeah, it’s the person that cut this together. well, thanks for sharing anyway.

it’s absolutely impossible to believe that a human being took precious hours out of their life putting this together. i choose to believe it just formed by itself, like a legged guppy crawling out of the primordial soup of youtube. but it was a person that did this. and i’m just going to have to live with that.

kudos, however, for adding the two best twister moments: the hilarious old-farmer-flying-off-into-the-night shot is always good for a guffaw or eight, and even when watched without sound, the bill paxton vs. helen hunt in the rain argument of glory will always be the high point of my 1996 life. “jo, things go wrong, you can’t explain it, you can’t predict it! killing yourself won’t bring your dad back.”

never have truer words been spoken, paxton. not once, in the history of suicide, has a father miraculously sprung free of the grave upon the death of his child. i looked it up. it’s true. not even in zombie form.

and never in the history of absurd mashups has anything of any value occurred. “killing twister won’t bring your time back!” thank you, paxton. i leave you now with another twister-based mashup. and yes, there are more.

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