now, watch that jerk, michael eisner, push fake robin hood around.

we can all agree that, even as kids, we knew michael eisner was up to no good. sure, he introduced the sunday treasure trove that was the magical world of disney, but that glint in his eye… it was the glint of pure corporate madness. after all, it was his scheme to make school start the next day — that asshole! was it so we’d be pacified, eisner? is that it? you made us swallow that big disney roofie so we’d be knocked out and loaded all week in that padded-wall classroom?!

well, i guess that’s for the best, really.

disney’s robin hood always feels like sunday evening to me: calm, peaceful, but slightly threatening [those rhino guards, man... they're almost as bad as the flying monkeys.]. especially with eisner showing up to read off his teleprompter while a live action robin hood stumbles onto the screen. live action?! eisner, you cheap bastard! the only live action robin hood should be the stuffed animal you pawn off at the disney store. and, if you’re going to have a live action robin hood on screen with you, he should kick your rich ass and steal your money, bitch!

the threat is clear: eisner obviously has tied and gagged the real animated robin hood and set this corporate goon robin hood loose in the real world. this particular disney roofie went down my throat sideways: uncomfortably, but still deadly effective…

’cause you just can’t beat disney, no matter how hard you try. and many have tried. pixar, for one. but then disney slipped them that same disney roofie and now, wouldn’t you know it, disney and pixar are married.

guess somebody got knocked up, corporate-style. not sexy, disney. not sexy.