breaking news: back in high school, the skeeziest looking kids always wandered the halls sporting a t-shirt of some band: metallica, slayer, anthrax and more often than not - the misfits.

because i associated the misfits with these skinny little twerps, i figured that the misfits were lame.

then in college, i finally listened to some misfits songs. it turns out - they’re not bad. they sure do sing a lot about killing babies, but whatever. they had a heavy late 70s/early 80s hardcore punk sound. of course, the misfits i listened to was from the original line-up, which featured lead singer/angry midget glenn danzig. danzig is pretty ridiculous and he sure does lose a lot of fights, but who cares - “mother” is an awesome song.

danzig eventually broke up the misfits because he was unhappy with the progress of the band. a few years later, despite attempted legal blockades from danzig, former misfits bassist jerry only decided to resurrect the band. i can’t imagine why danzig didn’t want to see jerry only’s misfits.

oh god… oh my god… now i don’t want to say anything drastic like they’re ruining boris “bobby” pickett’s song…

… but they are definitely date raping the legacy of the “monster mash.”

nobody asked for you to cover the “monster mash” misfits! did you really think you would make it better?!

no, i’m wrong. in this situation, i’m the bunch of assholes. i could see why you needed to record a new version. because the original version was missing lots of distortion, abscence of charm, and rushing through it with the basic chord progression of a 6th grade talent show band. yeah, your version is sooooooooooo much better.

*you can’t see me right now, but i’m rolling my eyes.*

and to top it off, in addition to destroying whatever credibility the original misfits had, in addition to making a great song sound awful, the music video just steals clips from rankin-bass’ “mad monster party?” which was literally a movie about a monster mash!

god! this is the worst crime ever committed on american soil! and that’s including the murders!

2 comments

filed under horror, music: 80s

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2 comments

1. b. Oct 25

   Federally Funded Monster Mash, kind of.

2. enemy paintball Sep 18

   I am not scary lol.

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