slutty. that’s a loaded word, which a lot of people probably hate. i’m gonna use it to describe the ending of a gameboy game. good for me!

double dragon is a difficult game, not only because it’s hard in general, but because it’s so hilariously tedious. punch, punch, punch. kick, punch, punch. punch, punch, headlock, headlock, headlock, punch, punch. in street fighter, all of that happens in the span of ten seconds. in double dragon, it takes forever. so, by the time you get to the ending, you’re expecting the punch, punch, hit with pipe, hit with pipe, kick, punch battle of a lifetime. obviously, that’s not the case. the final boss is incredibly easy. should i make a joke about how easy the boss is, and compare the boss’ relatively low level of difficulty to the ease in which someone might have sex with a well-known type of “loose” girl, such as that one girl on the floor of your freshman dorm (wink, wink) who was drunk a lot, gave everyone “long hugs,” and invited everyone up to her room to “hang out” and “watch a dvd” and “have some sex?” hmm. actually, i’m not sure. history will decide!

anyway, marion also looks like a whore. maybe it’s just the way the villains dressed her up, but she’s definitely wearing a crop top and a thong that’s riding low on her hips. i mean, shouldn’t she at least pull her thong up? she has company! and in the last shot, she looks like she’s completely drunk. you don’t kiss her at the end, because she can barely stand up.

you will, however, take her back to your place. and when marion asks what happened last night, just tell her to get out.