warning: this clip contains boobies and blood. parental discretion is advised.

the reasons for jason going to hell are quite simple.

1) this movie turned jason into a body-jumping namby-pamby. what the shit is this? quantum leap? each body possessed by jason’s spirit should’ve gone out to the local CVS and picked up a two dollar jason mask. and then, when he picks up one of those shitty glow-in-the-dark masks, the twist is — even when they see him coming, can they not trip and not let him catch up? the answer, of course, is “no.” but it’s due to this decision to turn jason into a ridiculous blend of the terminator, chucky, and dr. sam beckett that led to his decent into hell.

2) he’s also going to hell because apparently freddy’s there, and that fight was coming since the beginning of slasher time. maybe that pussy, michael myers, should step up to the plate, or is he too busy killing teenagers? they’re all busy killing teenagers! don’t be a pussy, michael myers. fight jason and freddy.

3) finally, the most important reason that jason must go to hell… he always friggin’ interrupts the sex scenes! what an asshole! i know you’ve got issues, jason, but get over it! the rest of us want to watch two attractive teens do each other in the woods.