watching tapes of the ninja turtles at my grandma’s house? awesome. my grandma rules.

watching the family home entertainment logo at the beginning of each tape? not cool, man. not cool at all.

this opening sequence has always given me bad vibes. there’s something about the slowness of the writing, the weird, drawn out synth music, and the way the orange attacks the screen at the beginning. it’s not scary, just off-putting. like when you’re on a first date with a girl, and things are going really well, until she says something very racist — and it’s not a joke. you’re not frightened, but you immediately want to leave.

luckily, the ninja turtles sprang up from the sewers immediately afterwards and saved me from the strange opening / girl who says she doesn’t hate hispanics, but obviously does. in fact, let’s all watch the ninja turtles opening right now, to wash the bad f.h.e. taste out of our mouths.

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