most of these blogs are about things we remember from the past. well, here’s something from the past that i remember from the future! wait, no. okay, here’s what happened:

my girlfriend works at a store called big kid, where celebrities go to find expensive toys. but while those idiot celebrities are buying things like antique fire engines and dumb stuff for idiots, i saw something there that was beyond words:

i couldn’t believe what i was looking at. wolverine — the very definition of “awesome ass-kicking heterosexual non-cross-dresser” — cross-dressing! was this some kind of marvel alternate universe thing? no, marvel would never do this to wolverine. they’d sooner turn him into a baby (and they did) than put him in a dress. with a little google investigating, I found the source:

of course. cracked magazine. and i’m not saying that in a condemning, elitist way. it just makes sense karmically. who would put wolverine in a dress? cracked magazine in the mid-nineties. however, the mystery still remains: who would put out a statue of a cracked magazine parody of wolverine? i couldn’t find a company name on the statue. are there other cross-dressing x-men statues? are there other cracked-themed statues? can i buy the janitor guy, too? if someone knows, please comment! otherwise, we’ll all have nightmares.
for more on this, don’t visit your local library! consult these links:

• the complete cracked x-men parody (scroll to the bottom)
• the x-babies
• big kid collectables
• related: tootsie (1982)

ed. note - the statue costs 75 bucks. ’nuff said, true believers.