second article in the daroff series, “silver hawks: am i the only one that remembers this shit?”
in my last article on “the silver hawks”, i made fun of villian poker face for being the dumbest cartoon villian of all time. his powers, again? his face doesn’t change it’s expression.

it should be noted at this point that poker face is a robot. robot’s aren’t really known for their expressiveness, so calling what he has a power is like saying bradley whitford’s superpowers include “being caucasian”.

anyway, this episode of silver hawks, existing on youtube only and entirely in spanish, expands on that idea and delves further into the world of poker face. he finally removes his sunglasses to reveal his eyes are actually slot machine reels, which leads to the single most bad ass way of saying “no.” we learn poker face is the owner of a slot machine that will blow up a celestial body if it pops up on all three reels. i guess just blowing shit up is too simple minded for the gangster robot.

mon-star, the evil sorcerer, has, on a weekly basis, tried to destroy hawk haven, the source of the silver hawks’ power. i guess repeated failure has made him so desperate he’ll try anything, even paying poker face a giant pile of gold to play the killer slot machine over and over again until hawk haven shows up. even in a foreign language, this is a stupid plan.

in the end, mon-star learns the evils of money as his giant pile of gold falls on him and his giant flying squid. never forget, in the world of silver hawks, even though we’re in the middle of outer space, things still fall down. That and if you’re ever out of gas, simply open the canopy and fire your laser guitar gun opposite the direction you want to go.

yes, learning can be fun. as illustrated in the astronomy lesson at the end of every episode.