answer: any amount of dramatic stakes or relevance. good luck finding that in critters 3. any relevance got tossed into some dark, spidery corner of the film, next to a young and decidedly hackish leonardo dicaprio (and yes, he is in critters 3, so he can never win an oscar).

so, in gremlins 2, which came out in 1990, the mogwai bad dudes eat all crazy-like in a similar scene, after midnight — cue the ooooominous music! — so they turn into gremlins. these critters coming to us from the year 1991 on the other hand (and could we, perhaps, find a less specific name for them? too bad john carpenter already snatched up “the thing”) are merely being comically gluttonous. just like the critters franchise.

you wanna be respected as “your own thing,” critters? then maybe you oughtta keep to what you’re good at: shooting poisonous barbs, saying hilarious things in subtitles, and chasing after that slightly retarded guy who keeps showing up in all the movies. eating is for gremlins. you haven’t earned that honor yet.