i’ve never met a man who hates shit quite as much as old man clemens from billy madison. i mean, that man really really hates shit. he also looks like grampa joe from willy wonka but a little less likely to drink the damn bubbly drink — jesus, grampa joe! he said don’t drink that! you’re supposed to be old and wise, not like these stupid shit kids! oooooh god, why?!

and you know old man clemens is going to get some shit in a sandler flick, ’cause as much as sandler loves grandma characters (and he really really loves grandma characters), he’s got nothing but contempt for old men. but the other key to sandler is that he always apologizes for his antics by the end, probably because he’s terrified we won’t like him. i’ve got a punch-to-the-face in my pocket that says i love you.

sandler apologizes to steve buscemi, who certainly has earned it by being consistently character-actorriffic, but old man clemens simply vanishes after his tragic attempt to stamp out the flames of shenanigan injustice. where’s the apology for shitting up an otherwise pleasant evening for ted clemens?! well, sandler, i’m telling you right now that i, too, hate shit.

apologize.