think about how powerful the ninja turtles were as a fighting force. they took down the technodrome, destroyed countless ninja robots, and stopped inter-dimensional war on multiple occassions. yet, their combined might could not make saying “no” to drugs cool.

“i’m not a chicken; you’re a turkey.” that kid would have gotten his ass beaten in school. also, why is a twelve year old propositioning a seven year old for drugs? socially speaking, they live on separate planets. if the older boy was caught talking to that kid, he would have gotten his ass beaten, too. in fact, this commercial should be about those two boys getting the shit kicked out of them — by the ninja turtles! that would have been awesome!

and since when do you tell mikey to “get real” when he suggests getting pizza? the ninja turtles are all about pizza. they eat, breath, and sleep all over it. i wouldn’t tell a friend to “get real” if he suggested we breath oxygen. i would say, “that’s a good idea,” and then we’d fight bebop and rocksteady, which is what the ninja turtles are supposed to be doing!!

while the turtles are magically speaking to pre-schoolers through a tv set, shredder has already kidnapped april and splinter. krang is gonna let loose his armies from dimension x. turtles should not be nerdy anti-drug propogandists. they’ve got bigger fish to fry! ghaa!!