video: captain lou albano from “the super mario brothers super show”

instructions for dancing the mario:

1) swing arms from side to side

2) take one step, then another

that’s the entire dance.

“the mario” is a dance both joyful and depressing - though amazing to behold, it would signal the end of an episode of “the super mario brothers super show”, which was torturous. i mean literally worse than the torture our captured soldiers are enduring in iraq.

24 hours until the next episode? and i’m spending 8 of those in school? why even bring a child into a world like that?! it would have been easier to have aborted me once and gotten it over with, as opposed to facing the thousands of deaths a day i experienced without the mario brothers.

dear television executives: here’s what i want in every show: mario, pasta, and mario. now give it to me or i’ll blow up your houses!