i recently celebrated my birthday by playing laser tag: the greatest future-sport of 1993! but humans aren’t the only ones who celebrate birthdays: mutant turtles and cat-men have them too, apparently.

however, there are subtle differences between the way in which each species celebrates this occassion. the turtles will act like dicks about a surprise party, in order to trick their friend. cats are just dicks — period — who apparantly are to busy preparing for “trials” to have a party at all. and i love how much lion-o hates surprise parties. hey, lion-o. sorry that you have friends who might want to throw you a party, because they care about you. boo hoo. hey, lion-o. you suck!

if the two teamed up on a joint party, they’d both get screwed. everyone would either be hiding from michelangelo, pretending that they don’t know he’s having a party, or they’d be waiting for lion-o to train for something that’s apparently super important, which means they won’t be in a “party mood.” mike would go off with lion-o to do this training quest (i know him very well — it’s what he would do), and by the time they got back, people would have impatiently cashed in their presents, ate all the cake, and believe me — that ice cream has got major freezer burns. birthdays are a bummer, dude.

sorry, lion-o. i know “dude” is a childish term. how about “snaaaaarf?” does that do anything for you? yeah, somehow i thought it might.