nickelodeon’s “are you afraid of the dark?” was a criminal, and i was the victim. that show scared the crapped out me every week, but there was no one i could turn to.

you were considered a pussy if you admitted to being freaked out by that show.

“the only people that are scared of that show are babies!” said everybody at recess.

“yeah, it’s stupid,” i replied, trying to avoid humiliation.

but the moment, i gave into peer pressure i feared that “are you afraid of the dark?” somehow heard me. and while i was sleeping, it was going to escape through the tv and get revenge, like wes craven’s shocker. so for years i suffered in silent agony, trying to endure the weekly terror of the 9:30 snick programming.

i probably should have changed the channel, but what else was i going to watch? “austin city limits”? bo-ring!