as i’ve mentioned before, jason voorhees scared the living shit out of me as a child. when i learned of the existence of a friday the 13th television series, i was sure it was all over for me. jason voorhees was going to be allowed into our homes on a weekly basis?

it was years before i found out that the premise of the show was two goobers trying to recover a bunch of cursed antiques. at the time, i was just relieved that jason would stay in the movies, where i wasn’t legally allowed to see him for another ten or eleven years.

cursed antiques? what a bunch of horseshit. you know what cursed antiques don’t do? bash you against a tree until your head is nothing but fucking pulp.