do you have any idea how many videos of people snorting pixie sticks there are on youtube?

and each one ends with a bunch of people laughing, and the snorter dying inside. if these people stopped blowing their money on pixie sticks, maybe they could save up enough money for real blow. certainly, the evil pixie stick empire doesn’t need any more of your money. for godsakes, at least smarties are sugar molded into a solid pill form. the pixie sticks people just drop sugar into a tube and we all eat it up. how much is that costing them, you ask? i don’t know, but i bet they could buy out richie rich and scrooge mcduck, then have enough left over to finance the inevitable buddy pic between them.

i now demand more effort to be put into my candies of choice.

i want processing. i want multiple ingredients. i want the possibility of trace amounts of peanuts and/or soy in everything i eat. sugar i can get straight from the one pound bag. so next time i come around trick-or-treating - could be any time, day or night - you’ve got the choice of giving me my three musketeers, giving me my fresh apple (preferably with razors, but i’ll still be kinda disappointed by it), or giving me that one pound sack of sugar. the sticks ain’t doin’ it for me anymore.